What Did You Teach My Daughter
by Sapphire Mizu
Summary: For Teapot of Karma's BMCOA Competition Part Two. Emmett wants revenge on Edward, and how will he do it? Teaching Nessie a few things. It's not Mature; I promise.


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What did you teach my Daughter?

**Edward POV**

"Daddy, can you read my story? It's for school," I glanced down from my laptop to gaze at Renesmee or Nessie, as she preferred. I gently shut my laptop, smiling at her.

"Of course." I read the first line,

_White as snow, an ivory towel billowed across the cerulean sky as a girl no more than five played in her sandbox. _

I stared down at her; she smiled angelically. I re-read it, making sure if it was my daughter's already neat handwriting.

"I'll let you read the rest because I want to finish off the rest of my book." She giggled; picking up one of those thick classic novels with words that little first graders shouldn't be able to read.

"So, how's Matilda?" My wife laughed behind me, wounding her arms around my neck, pecking my cheek. I grinned, Nessie was well known as the second Matilda. Ever since she could talk, all it was about were books, books, books. She would puppy dog eye us until we caved into bringing her to the library. The pleading took her about three seconds of her time. We were like putty in her hands, and not just us either. She's gotten her grandparents, her uncles, aunts, neighbors, teachers, and every single living being that had met her wrapped around her little finger.

"She's written this," I gestured to the front and back essay that was supposed to be her report. Bella's eyes widened for half a centimeter.

"Wow," Bella breathed.

"She inherited your writing genes apparently," I murmured under my breath teasingly.

"Apparently," Bella agreed.

"What's up?" Emmett crashed through the door with Rosalie, the expectant mother of twins, in hand. I sighed irritably, my good mood evaporating.

"Nothing Emmett, and nice to see you too Rosalie, looking good." I sent her a good-natured grin as she smiled wearily beside Emmett.

"Sorry to disturb you, but Emmett here wanted to ask for father advice. Bella, I also have a few questions of my own if you don't mind." Rosalie apologized.

"Sure, no problem, come into the kitchen and grab a seat." Bella hurried to Rosalie's side, aiding her through the swinging doors to the dining room.

"Alright, what questions do you have?" I inquired just as the phone rang. "Hold on." I picked up the speaker. "Hello?"

"Dr. Cullen, there's an emergency, someone got into a major car crash and Dr. Newton just fainted…and Dr. Cullen is attending to a mother giving birth, we need you immediately." Angela wailed, clearly succumbed by hysterics.

"Calm down, I'll be right there." I soothed her, "Emmett, I'm needed at the hospital."

"Uncle Emmy!" My daughter launched herself at Emmett.

"Hey Squirt!" He laughed, twirling her around. I held back a cry when Emmett nearly slammed her ankle into the furniture while at the same time, almost bumping into a lamp off the wooden stand.

"Nessie, I'm needed at the hospital, so play with Emmett for a little bit, and be careful around Rosalie alright?"

"Yes, daddy." She kissed me on the cheek as I gave her one last hug.

"Please, Emmett, for the sake of my sanity, please talk to her about things that are rated PG and everything under PG?" I grabbed my jacket, running through the doors.

"Roger." Emmett saluted; I sighed.

**Nessie POV **

"Uncle Emmy," I tugged at his shirt. He glanced at me, grinning widely. I smiled tenderly up at him, "Can you help me with my report?" I saw his face contort then revive to its usual laid-back expression.

"Sure Ness," He hopped a little on the spot before placing me on his shoulders. "Let me see it," I passed him the papers. "Whoa, Squirt." I giggled.

"Too much?" I joked, looking down at Uncle Emmy.

"A little bit, Squirt, let's make it better." I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Better?" I said in confusion, tilting my head as he flopped onto the couch, careful with me on his thick shoulders. His weight scattered the fluffy pillows around the floor.

"Yeah, you know, more for first graders because you read way too much for a first grader." He emphasized "way". "And you know a lot more words than they do, so you don't want to sound too smart."

"Oh." I realized with understanding, remembering that my best friend Jacob was bullied for being too smart in class. Jake was called a "smarty pants" and suffered major humiliation throughout his fourth grade level.

"Besides," His eyes scanned the paper, "this sounds very mature more like fifth grader material, so we might change it up a little bit."

"Like…?" I trailed off, thinking all the interesting possibilities I could extend my hand of knowledge into.

"Like make it more fun, in this one it sounds like the girl is making a big sandcastle, but the sandcastle is destroyed because it starts raining." He stopped, "Hey, Squirt, did you read the Harry Potter series?"

"Of course," I found a pile of seven massive books on my mother's bookshelf, and even though she told me not to touch them, I had convinced Daddy to let me peek at the first book.

"Good, 'cause I have an idea." He flashed me a mischievous smirk.

**Emmett POV **

I could feel my head bursting with all of those large vocabulary words; I was never an attention-giving student in English class. I shook my head to clear it, devising a plan to get back at Edward.

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**One Month ago… **

I fingered the piece of machinery gingerly in my hand. I grinned foolishly, wiping a dirt off my face. I was in the junkyard, or so known as the heaven of car pieces. We didn't need to pay what we wanted in the place, in fact, the owner just wanted the place to have less and less materials here.

"Emmett, lock up will you?" Geoff threw me the keys. I threw it back to him, smirking.

"No way, I'm going home too, so the closing is all yours old man!" I laughed, walking back to my jeep and winking at Geoff's scowl. Driving through the gates into the high sun, I made my way back our house.

"Emmett, I'm in the kitchen! Bella and Edward are here too!" My wife, Rosalie called. Edward soon stepped out from the dining room.

"Hello Emmett," Edward greeted curtly. He wrinkled his nose, "Did you shower recently?"

"Edward," I said in return, carefully hiding my piece behind a few books so that Edward wouldn't see. It was dull and it reeked of where it has been, but hopefully, no one would pay it no mind. "No, not yet. How come you're out here?"

"I'm just making an escape from the melodramatic discussions our wives were having in there," Edward cringed, turning a slight shade of pink.

"Oh," I replied, raising my eyebrows in acknowledgement. Edward nodded gravely.

"Hey, Emmett, Rosalie says she wants some chocolate pudding," Bella leaped into the room with a frightened expression on her face.

"Why?" I glanced at Bella.

"She wants chocolate pudding…"

"And Cheeto Puffs! So, I can dip them in the pudding!" My wife's voice screamed from the next room. I sighed, _cursed pregnancy food cravings._ "EMMETT I WANT THEM _NOW_!" She screeched. Swiftly, I snatched my keys, and rushed out the door, forgetting to close it.

Just when I shut the door of my jeep, did I notice that I still needed to shower.

**The Next few days…**

I wiped my brow, looking at my scattered jeep all apart and unusable. _Its okay; it's okay. It'll b better when you add that piece._ All I could think about was my poor dismembered truck… and my wife. I glanced at the small part once more as if it was still there with me. I breathed, relieved.

"Uncle Emmy!" I heard Nessie shout from the drive thru. I grinned at Squirt's excited voice, taking one of the sole existences of my truck in my pocket and patting it comfortingly. I scratched my nose idly, strutting into the dining room with my chin held high. I was literally counting the minutes till I could drive my monster truck again. Squirt yelled my name before she charged onto my back, clinging like a monkey on a vine.

I roared playfully, swinging around but carefully. Bella would murder me if I hurt Nessie, and Rose might shield the babies from me if encouraged by Bella. I dipped my head, catching Squirt as she dropped, squealing in surprise. She glanced at me and giggled.

"You have a smudge on your nose, Uncle Emmy. Go wash it off, it smells like oil," She commanded in a motherly tone. I laughed, putting her down.

"Yes, _mom._"

Rose came out just then, snickering, "Emmett, you're such a dork. Now, go before mother Nessie gets mad and then you'll be needing a time out." She winked at Nessie before going back to the living room.

"I'll be right back."

**N/REPOV**

I looked at the ground, finding an odd-looking thing. I twisted it in my hand; it was bright and shiny, but with multiple spots that looked like fingerprints.

"Nessie? What is that you're holding?" I held it up to Mommy for her to look at it. "I'm not sure what it is, but let's not trouble Rosalie with more things for her to wonder about." She whispered to me, so I nodded. Mommy threw it in the trashcan, taking the bag outside. I heard a rumble outside; I didn't notice the garbage truck arriving at their house. Bella clapped her hands, wiping off the dirt from her hands.

"Emmett, Nessie and I are leaving. See you!" Mommy shouted loudly.

"See you Squirt, I would escort you to your car, but I'm doing some business with the toilet." I giggled uncontrollably as Mommy rolled her eyes. She took my hand, and we walked to the car.

**EMPOV **

_Where is it? Where is it? WHERE IS IT? _I've been rifling through every crook and cranny there was in the household _and _the garage. Nothing, nada, zilch, zero! Rosalie couldn't have hidden it because that part wouldn't work in her M3, and she would have identified it too.

"Emmett, hey," Rose came out, "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing, sweetheart, but did anyone other than Bella and Squirt come to visit this morning? I think one of them might accidentally take something of value from me."

"Edward came along with them as well," She included. I froze in place.

"What day is today?" I asked in a stiff voice.

"Wednesday," She replied, settling down on the couch.

_EDWARD! _

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**EMPOV**

"Okay, so let's start with what kind of report is this?" I began.

"Um, the teacher didn't put any limits on this; it's free write." Nessie giggled just as the door opened to reveal my vixen wife and Bella.

"Hey, Emmett, can you keep Nessie company? We're going shopping." Bella snatched her purse from the stand. "Be good Nessie," Bella leaned down to kiss Nessie on the cheek.

"Bye Mommy and I will. Emmy was just helping me with m-" I placed my large hand over her mouth.

"It's a surprise." I interrupted. I gave Nessie a warning glance. I would be killed if they found out what I was doing.

Bella's eyes were wary, "Okay Emmett, unlike Edward. I'll trust you on this. Nessie, go grab my belt from my room." Squirt skipped to the stairs, and Bella leaned toward me. Her hand clasped on my shoulder with a death grip; Rosalie made no move to stop her. "But if you do anything to her, adulterate her, or even try to do anything funny that Rosalie or I wouldn't approve for a five year old; you can make sure you won't be able to touch, smell, or see your twins before they are eighteen. I have a lawyer at our side, and a restraining order will come into play._ Am I clear?_"

I nodded in fear.

"Thank you Nessie, have fun." Bella thanked sweetly, and when Squirt turned around, Bella's eyes turned into hard slits…like a snake. I gulped. "Bye!" She waved her hand at us cheerfully.

Okay, so I might need a new plan.

**Oral Presentation Day **

**EPOV**

I sat at the back of the room with all the other parents, waiting patiently for my daughter's turn. Nessie wouldn't let me read the contents of her writing after the day with Emmmett, so I brought him along.

"Next up, Nessie Cullen, let's give her a round of applause," Mrs. Johnson announced, smiling as I clapped proudly.

"Thank you Mrs. Johnson." Nessie climbed up to the platform. "My story is called, 'Zap! You're dead." Immediately, I glared at Emmett. He shrugged.

"Excuse me, Billy," I shifted my head to Billy Black to my left. Jacob pestered him to come over to see Nessie say her story. "Are you videotaping this?" I asked.

"No, Jacob is," he chuckled, pointing at his son holding the camera with a goofy smirk on his face.

"May I see the tape after the presentation?"

"Sure," Billy agreed to my offer freely.

"Okay, so here's this boy, and his name is Fred." Nessie started, so I shut my mouth quickly, listening intently. "He's a magician, and he has this wand. It's a magical wand." I shook my head. This is so predictable, Emmett's absurdly immature vocabulary.

"Fred is a wizard, yes. One day, he meets another wizard, and his name is Tim. Tim takes the wand, running away from Fred. Fred is mad, so he hunts Tim down. When Tim is caught, Fred takes the wand, and he says, 'ZAP!' Tim falls to the ground dead." Gasps resounded in the room; I groaned when I caught Mrs. Johnson's eyes. All of a sudden, Nessie takes a stick and directs it at the nearest child.

"ZAP!" She shouted. All of the kids in the room started scrambling around, screaming their heads off. Adults in the back bolted upright, reading for their offspring who were still being chased by Mrs. Johnson.

"CULLEN!" She shrieked in the middle of all the mayhem. I cringed.

"I hope my wife has the restraining order written." I grumbled.

**Okay, there. You can kill me. I know I promised an update LAST week, and I am so sorry. I hope this can make it up. **

**I want to dedicate this story to two people who have helped me so much in these past few weeks. **

**1) Teapot of Karma aka, Miss C. Cullen: Thanks so much for believing in me, and always staying positive. Now please put the gun down, and hurry up with the results –hugs-**

**2) Amethyst Jackson: I loved your story, "I carry your heart with me". It was truly a masterpiece, and it helped me get my writing back in touch. I can't thank you enough. Keep on writing amazing pieces! **


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